Changes and Seasons

 

The hum of the air conditioner is finally silent. The house has been closed up tight all summer to keep out the heat. Finally, we can open the windows and let the cool air flow through the rooms. This is what I call good sleeping weather. Summer is winding down.

The lines in this beautiful field caught my eye when I was driving down our road. Gathering in the last cutting of hay is another reminder that summer is ending. It is a bittersweet time. I rejoice with the cooler air but I am also melancholy. The shorter daylight is noticeable. We begin turning inward, into our homes earlier in the evening, closer toward a source of warmth that no longer comes from the sun. We light the lamps earlier and we add an extra blanket onto the bed.

Like the golden light that arrives in September; Steve and I are entering our golden years. Our working years are winding down, our children are raised, and the "building up" of our life is almost done. We are talking about what retirement might look like for Steve and how we can achieve it. Our focus is changing toward preserving the harvest that has been our life's work and preparing for winter. It is bittersweet. 

Last night he and I sat in a classroom together along with a bunch of other folks. We were there to learn more about Social Security and retirement. The classroom setting reminded me of another time we sat in a class together, forty years ago. Steve was in his sixth and final year of college and I was working to support us. I was very pregnant with our first daughter and it had been a tough week for me at work. I decided to take the next day off to decompress. I must have been very emotional from the pregnancy  because my eyes were red and puffy from crying the night before. Rather than leave me home alone, Steve invited me to go to class with him. He made it sound like it would be fun. It was not. I felt so out of place in that Power Engineering class among all those engineering students. I looked a wreck. I was so big and pregnant and the fluorescent lights hurt my red and puffy eyes. The math was way over my head and it took all my willpower to look as though I had a clue. I seem to recall feeling physically uncomfortable with the pregnancy, either from my bladder or maybe it was gas. Oh Lord. But we were young and so in love! A new beginning was just around the corner for us and we felt like the world was ours for the taking.  

Can it already be forty years gone by? Are we really now sitting in a retirement class? It is a sobering thought and it gives me pause to stop and assess my life. 

So far, September has been lovely. Summer is leaving us in a kind and gentle fashion. I can still wear sandals and the sun still puts color on my skin. I pray this season of life will also be kind to us. For some reason, this Bible verse from Psalm 121:1-2 comes to mind as well as the song following.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.