Excuse me! It's "Lunch/ Instructional Aid" if you please. Not "Lunch Lady". Yeah right.

I'm SO glad it's Friday! In the cafeteria lately:

Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?

Can he be a diva?

A table of eight year old girls calls me over. "Patrick is telling me I'm sexy". I walk over to Patrick and crouch behind his seat to have a chat. "Did you tell her she's sexy?" With chin raised, he confidently says, "Yes." I go on to explain why girls might prefer to be called 'pretty' or 'cute' rather than sexy. I tell him he can trust me on this.

Every day a little first-grade boy goes to the fountain to wash his apple or grapes. I call him my little raccoon.

Nine year old boy sitting with a table full of girls raises his hand to call me over. "What does B.J. stand for?" With a blank expression I reply, "I have absolutely no idea." I eye the girls and walk away, heading straight for the kitchen where I can let my red face settle down.
Poor R. I know the girls put him up to that.

Each Friday I hand out little slips of paper with a topic for the kids to discuss at their tables. Today's is, "What job would you never want to have?"  Two boys want to tell me their answers. I wished I had time to hear more.
1. I would never want to clean people's teeth. Yuck, that's disgusting!
2. I would never want to have to cut down trees.

Wednesday, Boy 1," I just threw up in the bathroom. Can I go to the nurse?"
Thursday, Boy 2, "I just threw up three times in the nurse's office."
Friday, The Janitor, "I got a call to the third grade boys bathroom. Someone's been sick in there."
Friday, Boy 3, "I have a tummy ache." I send him to the nurse.
Me to the lunch ladies: "Wash your hands a lot. There's vomiting."
Poor nurse.

"He's looking at me." "He's talking to me" "He's sitting next to me" "He said..., She said..."
Me to everyone: "Only raise your hand to call me if it's important!"  And they still call me for all of the above.