I understand the term, "butterflies in my stomach" all too well this week. I would add, "knots in my stomach" to those butterflies. As we approach the day to go and pack up my mom's things and bring her home with us, I am panicking inside. It's reflected in my erratic behavior of trying to do twenty gazzilion things at one time. Just like a "chicken with it's head cut off". Last night you would find me doing multiple loads of laundry, packing to travel, moving and reorganizing two bathrooms, cooking dinner, bookkeeping work, and grooming the dog. I think Steve finally thought I was crazy when I started grooming the dog at 7:30 PM. I know myself very well and this behavior is my response to stress. I get obsessively compulsive about cleaning and putting things in order. It's my feeble attempt at organizing and controlling that which I cannot control in a messy, nonsensical world.
Anyway, friends have been calling and emailing and supporting us as we walk into the big unknown. We appreciate the support and care, and also the advice from those who are caring for the elderly. And now, here we have it! I'm still a bit confused because my new closet is on the first floor, but my bedroom, dresser and bathroom are now on the second floor. On the plus side, the master bedroom suite is emptied of everything but the white, ball-fringe curtains I hung for mom (because I know she will like them). I wonder whether the bed will be comfortable and I imagine where each of her belongings will be nicely placed. I've left her a closet the size of a small nursery and walls ready for hanging her pictures. I just need to clean the bathroom one more time because I groomed the dog in there last night. : )
I'll end this post with a song from Tess' recital that is still running through my head. She performed six pieces, but this is the one I'll forever associate with this past year. No matter what lies ahead, I know that God has this. His plan is not evident to me, but I will take one day at a time and play my one small note in the wonderful unfolding of whatever it is He has composed.