Friday, May 3, 2013

Excuse me! It's "Lunch/ Instructional Aid" if you please. Not "Lunch Lady". Yeah right.

I'm SO glad it's Friday! In the cafeteria lately:

Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?

Can he be a diva?

A table of eight year old girls calls me over. "Patrick is telling me I'm sexy". I walk over to Patrick and crouch behind his seat to have a chat. "Did you tell her she's sexy?" With chin raised, he confidently says, "Yes." I go on to explain why girls might prefer to be called 'pretty' or 'cute' rather than sexy. I tell him he can trust me on this.

Every day a little first-grade boy goes to the fountain to wash his apple or grapes. I call him my little raccoon.

Nine year old boy sitting with a table full of girls raises his hand to call me over. "What does B.J. stand for?" With a blank expression I reply, "I have absolutely no idea." I eye the girls and walk away, heading straight for the kitchen where I can let my red face settle down.
Poor R. I know the girls put him up to that.

Each Friday I hand out little slips of paper with a topic for the kids to discuss at their tables. Today's is, "What job would you never want to have?"  Two boys want to tell me their answers. I wished I had time to hear more.
1. I would never want to clean people's teeth. Yuck, that's disgusting!
2. I would never want to have to cut down trees.

Wednesday, Boy 1," I just threw up in the bathroom. Can I go to the nurse?"
Thursday, Boy 2, "I just threw up three times in the nurse's office."
Friday, The Janitor, "I got a call to the third grade boys bathroom. Someone's been sick in there."
Friday, Boy 3, "I have a tummy ache." I send him to the nurse.
Me to the lunch ladies: "Wash your hands a lot. There's vomiting."
Poor nurse.

"He's looking at me." "He's talking to me" "He's sitting next to me" "He said..., She said..."
Me to everyone: "Only raise your hand to call me if it's important!"  And they still call me for all of the above.


  1. Kids DO say the darnedest things and this post reminded me of the segment that Art Linkletter used to feature on his TV's still true, only the topics are updated.

  2. Never a dull moment there!