Tuesday, July 17, 2012


We took  hundreds of pictures during our week in Long Island visiting Steve's brother and this is the one I singled out as my favorite. I titled it "Exposed" for two reasons. The obvious reason is that I'm nervously biting my lip as I post a photo of my 50-something self in a bathing suit.
But, the real reason is because when everything about me is stripped away, all the places I've lived or considered living, all the things that anyone currently knows about me or who people think I am, this is who I know that I am and where I fit in. I am a New Yorker. Sometimes I struggle to know where I belong or where I should live. And while chances are that I will never live in New York again, I know exactly where my roots are. I haven't been uprooted, as some people call it, I've been severed. My roots remain in New York.
I know exactly where to find myself should I ever lose my way. I'm exposed and it feels just right.

Other reasons this day was so wonderful:

The water was cold as I believe ocean water should be.
The wind was exhilarating and cooled the air by at least 20 degrees.
I "got" the people... and the accents.
It rained at night (three times) and everything was green.
I'm with Steve and the ocean reminds me of our younger days- the Jersey shore where, at 20, we drove all night to get there and I got sun poisoning the next day, Martha's Vineyard, Nantucket, Block Island, Cape Cod for our honeymoon, and Maine, where we lived for two years.
The ferry out here to Fire Island was like an amusement park ride. Ocean spray soaked us and one lady hooted and laughed at every swell. (It wasn't me.)


  1. It's a blessing to know how to find your way home.
    I love this post...thank you so much for sharing this intimate part of you.

  2. That's a great picture. And the way you describe being "home" is the way I think of being back in middle Georgia. A different accent and I always feel more myself there.

  3. oh, leonora, that's such a nice photo of you and your husband. recently, several bloggers who don't normally post people pictures have put their own pictures on their blogs...and now you!

    i thoroughly enjoyed this piece of writing. you're exploring. keep on doing it. sounds like you had a marvelous vacation.

    you know, my dear, i don't think you'll ever get lost. your voice is far too strong. and i, for one, am glad i found you. : )

  4. Leonora, your 50 year old self is just beautiful. :)

    Having fun reading your New York posts. (Henri in the car--so cute!) I've lived in NYC for a while, but have never been out on Long Island. It looks gorgeous. And the wineries sound like they're worth the drive. Glad to see you had the chance to get back to your roots. ;)